Karina Pandya

i believe in honesty and always have... even if i do something really wrong i can never get myself to lie about it. im transparent in my emotions, gestures, writings and sometimes i get angry at myself for that. Why the hell do i have to be like that?? why can't i just stay quiet and not bother about anything... but i guess we all are made differently. i never get bothered by being straightfoward with people, letting them know how i feel.. but sometimes i just hurt myself by being so honest...i wish i wasnt always... wish i could keep some emotions in... things always dont work out to be picture perfect and we are forced or compelled to live with that.. the thing is that we can never ever be too sure that things will work in our favour, never be too confident... and i say this and then wonder how those happy-go-lucky people seem to be so over confident of themselves.. that even in the face of distress they never get so affected...

Another day at work ends, and i come back home;switch on the music and think about all thats happened to me. Listening to michael buble always eases my mind.. that slow jazz in the background... i can never shed off memories. they keep haunting back again and again. theres so much to think about, so much to do, but i always am mentally reluctant to change. i tell myself over and over again its not worth the pain to think of things now, thats what its always like.... i always have to remind myself nothing in life is for real... your always mentally on your own... i write what i feel thinking it will help me and sometimes it does, but most other times it doesnt. they say writing is the best gift, but its like dwelling in the past, analzing and re-considering things...i switch on the tv and am so skeptic of things, yet i can pen all the solutions down. i know whats right but find it so hard to tell myself that.. its yet another sunny morning and i know theres always something to look fowa...