Karina Pandya

    “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts.  At some time of time in our lives, we all have been overwhelmed by our emotions and have not been able to process our feelings completely. Either it could be because of anger due to injustice, grief from a loss, a panicked fear or an impending threat.  Whatever it has been has led to a lot of dysregulation in our nervous system, in turn leading to physical changes such as headaches, insomnia, high blood pressure, depression, heart disease, etc.  Emotions, especially negative ones are often all-consuming and can consume a lot of energy from the body. Moreover, our very own environments also condition us sometimes not to express our emotions fully – unless of course, it is POSITIVE.  Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts and you are the slave to your emotions #ElizabethGilbert   However, whichever emotion we may feel certainl...

    Not everything that we want will be handed to us; sometimes we have to go out and get it i.e. we have to be assertive in our communication. Being assertive is knowing how to communicate, exactly what you want and need (require) in a very clear manner. It is not about being 'forceful' in our communication but pacing importance to your wants, needs or requirements while communicating.   It is also the ability to defend yourself appropriately and the ability to be your advocate.  It is very important to communicate assertively so that you can get across your side of any story. In short, assertiveness refers to the quality of being self-assured and confident – without being passive-aggressive or hostile in interactions.     The book, The Assertiveness Guide for Women – How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries and Transform Your Relationships by author and licensed therapist, Julie De Azevedo Hanks – has provided women with a tool book...

  Can your attachment style be the sole determinant in forming relationships with people? In this groundbreaking book, ‘Attached’ by psychiatrist and neuroscientist – Dr.Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S.F. Heller, we explore the main dominant adult attachment styles – anxious, avoidant and secure to decode relationship behaviours.  When we think of relationships, we often think of whether the two people are actually in love or compatible with each other but it’s not so common to dive into understanding one’s personality as a determinant of whether a relationship will work or not. Think of the personality that you have… and your attachment needs. Remember that these attachment needs are NOT JUST for children but also adults. Attachment is an integral part of human behaviour throughout one’s entire life span. The attachment theory, i.e., the need to be in a close relationship is embedded in our genes.    This affects the closeness that we have with our parents, ch...

  “Nothing is what we thought. Emptiness is not what we thought. Neither is mindfulness or fear. Compassion – not what we thought. Love. Buddha nature. Courage These are code words for things we don’t know in our minds but any of us could experience them. These are words that point to what life is when we let things fall apart and let ourselves be nailed to the present moment.”   Fear is a natural reaction when we move closer to the truth.   No one tells us to stop running away from fear. It’s sometimes close and sometimes far, but it is always there lurking somewhere in the background. Fear can even come very close but the only advice we are ever given is to sweeten it up, smooth it over, take a pill or distract ourselves but by all means make it go away.   The intimacy of fear can never be predicted but the certainty of fear is always present. It could be as small as the fear of a spider. We may look at the spider in the eyes and have all the emotions of fear, ange...

  “ Only in an open, non-judgmental space can we acknowledge what we are feeling. Only in an open space when we’re not all caught up in our version of reality can we see, hear and feel who others are, which allows us to be with them and communicate with them properly.” #Pema Chodron Suppose we want to help someone and this person is at a deprived status, perhaps living on the streets. Nobody would want to pay a glance at him or even hear him out. At this point when you (or anyone else) are determined to help him out there has to be a sense of compassion that is paid towards him. This compassion may also be accompanied by unresolved triggers that sporadically pop up making it all the more difficult for us to help this person out.      Showing compassion is a pretty high order and while we all may be in relationships of different sorts, the level of compassion is different as per the type of bond we have with that person.  However, if we choose to help someone,...

  Have you ever wondered what your sense of purpose in life (ikigai) is? Your career is what you spend the majority of your life engaged with and is what fulfils your day. There are many reasons one may choose to pursue a career and it is very important to understand that.    Either it is an activity that ‘energises’ you, is based on the hard skills that you possess – the knowledge that you have or is based on the soft skills and abilities that you have.    Hard skills  refer to specific abilities that a person possesses, capabilities a person can demonstrate. Some of these may include SEO, marketing, social media, editing, writing, analytical skills, content management, copywriting or management.     On the other hand,  soft skills  refer to people’s skills. These include good communication and interpersonal skills, work ethic, problem-solving, leadership, time management, etc. These characteristics can be carried over to any posit...

  Have you ever wondered why you behave or act out sometimes the way that you do? Most likely it stems from certain events that have happened during your childhood that have left certain wounds behind. Maybe you were bullied, maybe you lost a parent, maybe you were neglected by loved ones; but whatever it has been it has been some negative event that has led you to behave a certain way in your adult life.    The internal war you wage with yourself may not be seen by others but it is always felt by you! Lorraine Dawn Nilson   As an adult have you succumbed to some sort of addiction, or are you constantly seeking external validation from others? Were you emotionally neglected? Whatever it may be, inner child wounds affect your behaviour as an adult.    Your inner child is a part of your subconscious mind that has been picking up messages way before you were able to process them completely (mentally and emotionally). It is the forgiving, free-spirited part of ...