Love is . . . ‘almost like a psychological disorder’

Love- Four simple alphabets that are strung together to create one of the most complex yet beautiful emotions experienced towards other humans, animals and one’s self.

However, love is more than just these emotions but it is a magical feeling wherein the sight/thoughts of the person (he/she) will/can just about bring about butterflies to your stomach!

Love is when you can see beyond the imperfections of a person and is an intense feeling that is a variety of different feelings, attitudes and states that range from interpersonal affection to pleasure.

It extends to emotions such as strong attraction and personal attachment; but it can also be a virtue representing compassion, human kindness and affection- “the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another." 

Lasting Relationships boil down to Kindness & Generosity

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

― Robert A. Heinlein

                

Love is what people think they do- “they love the person” but in actuality they are just “THOUGHTS”, which cluster the mind. 

Real love is a POWERFUL FEELING WHICH is mind-altering and is like a drug that NO-ONE is safe from becoming wildly addicted to, it could be felt in a heartbeat, in an instance and drive people to do irrational, crazy and sometimes even destructive things!

It is so much more than all of this: its respect, cohesive lifestyles, and even timing. However, love is so much more. It's the ‘chemistry’, which makes love so powerful. Sexual attraction, which is often confused for love is what people are constantly looking for just to feel elated.

           

For years, love has been a central theme in movies; so whether your single, in a new relationship, something in between, just married, there’s always something to watch! 

For example some movies strongly represent a particular aspect:

·                Walk of Shame – Elizabeth Banks, 

·                Anne Hathaway's version -If You're Taking a Break From Dating: Becoming Jane, 

·                If Your Going on a Lot of First Dates-50 First Dates, 

·                If your trying Online Dating – You’ve Got Mail

 Whenever we feel a little bit happy, that instance our brain releases a “feel-good-hormone"; actually a transmitter known as dopamine, which is, induces a buzz like sensation. Who wouldn't like to feel that euphoric buzz again?

However, both people have to want the same thing and respect is so important throughout. You can’t be with a person who is mean to you or controlling or doesn't even want the same things as you in life. That is just attraction and chemistry.

Shifting our thinking is in this manner is very important and it makes love a safe place which is very empowering. Moreover, we begin to love ourselves in a way where nothing in this world and no one can control us! Not even a feeling!

Only we are in charge of our feelings and ourselves and that's far more dope than  ethereal love  can ever  be!

Love can be of different types (impersonal and interpersonal) and is the foundation of the movie industry in every country.

Impersonal love is the love for an object, goal or even principle that is greatly committed to. 

Volunteer and compassionate outreach (NGO type activities) love the work/causes they are working towards because of altruism. Love and impersonal love coupled with altruism and strong political and spiritual connections.

If people invest all their “love” on themselves and sexual passion it leads to a mental disorder, which can even be characterised by an obsession or even lead to preference for unusual sexual acts such as exhibitionism, sadomasochism and pedophilia.  

Interpersonal love is the love that is held between two humans and has far more potent sentiment than ‘mere’ liking. Interpersonal love is very easy to identify with ‘interpersonal relationships’.

Unrequited love is very common and refers to feelings of love which are not reciprocated – this can happen between friends, family, couples, people of higher authority, etc.

 There are many psychological disorders related to love – erotomania being one of the main ones; others being obsessive compulsive disorder, it is like you have a psychosocial disorder.

 From euphoria to depression, mood swings to obsessive compulsive checking for texts and the mind scrambling with thoughts, the drop down low when your ‘love interest’ hasn't called in two minutes! Its crazy what love can do to you!  

                                                                  “Love is always NEW!

Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. 

We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to reach out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if it means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness. The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. And to save us.”

In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. It hurts when I lost each of the various men I fell in love with.

Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.

       Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes (2003)

There are also biological modes of sex and view love as a “mammalian dive” similar to that as hunger and thirst.

Helen E. Fisher, an American human behaviour researcher, self-help author and anthropologist is a Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsley Institute Indiana Instutute- Indiana and is also a member of the Center For Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University.

A leading expert on love and attraction, she claimed that there was one thing that remained common amongst humans and that was their reproductive organs.

She is also one of the main speakers at the 2006 & 2008 TED conferences. She had appeared in a documentary in 2014 that was heart-breaking and dealt with loneliness, titled ‘Sleeplessness in New York’ 

The film explored the difficult path out of self-destructive, obsessive behaviour, toward a new self, "Sleepless in New York" was promoted as "a film for those in love, out of love or looking for love.

Love has been the subject of many books across time and they have been heart wrenching love stories that are perfect to cozy up to and enjoy the night or they can be heart wrenching love stories that may even bring you to tears to a romance having a far more sinful side to it.

The Fault in Our Stars – John Green
Fifty Shades of Grey – E.L. James 
The Notebook – Nicholas Sparks
Romeo and Juliet – William Shakespeare
A Walk to Remember – Nicholas Sparks
Love in the Time of Cholera – Columbian author-Gabriel García Márquez Spanish: El   amor en los     tiempos del cólera)
Darker by EL James

 

(      (And  many more)

• Love is definitely good for the heart AND even for your mood but you know what, it’s your BRAIN where the REAL DRAMA actually plays out and sometimes it’s not always “so good”!

Your brain chemistry goes HAYWIRE – throwing signals – neurotransmitters in all different directions, making it go off balance. 

First of all, more ‘dopamine’ is released which is a very important hormone in the pleasure and rewards systems of the bring; then the serotonin level decreases – which is a neurotransmitter that is directly related to sleep, mood and appetite. 

All the physical, bodily changes are all related to the hormonal changes. The damp palms you may get, shortness of breath, light-headedness are all related to the fact that your body is increasing the release of the hormone adrenalin.

However there are many questions regarding love:

What is love, attachment and sexual gratification? What do men want and what do women want and what is acceptable across the world cultures?

Yes, men and women have their own agendas and while men are more attracted to beauty; women are attracted more to success. Of course there has to be a meeting of the mind but love is as complex and as simple as we make it.  

As said by Orson Welles- an American actor, director, writer, and producer who worked in theatre, radio, and film so profoundly:

”We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

Create your own visual style... let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.”