Don't Forget to Fall in Love With Yourself First!

“The people we are in relationships with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors, reflecting their beliefs.” 

— Shakti Gawain

It is very often overlooked that the relationship that we have with ourselves sets the tone for all the other relationships in our lives. In other words, caring for yourself’ is actually self-preservation.

This relationship that you have with yourself is extremely critical for your mental health and well being; and also for happy and healthy relationships with other people. It is the foundation of every single relationship in your life and is far more important than even altruism!

There are many ways that self care can look like: for some it could be sweating it out at the gym on a daily basis, for others it could be resting speaking with friends, spending time in nature or with pets, or for others it could even be going out for a run! There are many countless manners in which we can display self-care.

“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”
― Diane Von Furstenberg

However, its not always that simple and easy to develop a great relationship with ourselves when we constantly seek approval from the society, parents, friends, etc. Lack of confidence, low self esteem and lack of self worth are a few reasons that make it hard for people to communicate effectively and be well understood. 

Therefore this negatively impacts the relationship with the opposite person. These people are constantly seeking validation from others and have no true identity of their own. No relationship can ever remain healthy is one’s OWN relationship with their self is unhealthy!

Relationship is a mirror. Every moment the other reveals you, exposes you. The closer the relationship, the clearer is the mirror.” 

— Rajneesh

One of the biggest mistakes in relationships is where the person finds their happiness and fullfillment. There are some people who believe that it is the job of their partner’s to make them happy and they abscond responsbility. IT IS NOT THEIR responsibility at all!

In fact, if you even expect certain things from your partner, you begin to develop unneeded resentments, resentments which only bring about a lot of anger and arguments!Such people are usually those who cant even stick to one relationship. They may be jealous, needy, controlling, fearful and manipulative because the partner holds their happiness. 

The onus lies in you- You are not charge of your own happiness and joy!

To have a healthy relationship, each individual should have dealt with their own issues of jealousy, low self esteem inner pain and resentments. Its very important to own up to your own junk in the relationship and make a firm commitment to commit to your unconditional love and find your identity.